#25. Feeling down or depressed is a common experience for many people at some point in their lives. Fortnite Which hopefully she will be soon. He's happily married,we talked alot obout his DW who I don't know, and his DC. Its way to stressful to be the sender and receiver. It was the other way around. Ironically, one of the single men I worked with got fired for a ridiculously blown out of proportion sexual harassment claim while this was going on. . You should always try NOT to get a parent involved in your relationship if you can help it. What about a married woman going out for a drink with a married man who is a friend. He makes an effort to see you. Monster has released a range of alcoholic drinks that recreate the flavours of the popular energy drinks. I don't agree, I think different generations see things a bit differently. She use to be a cyber girl some years back, before she had an interest to work, its strange how people change through the years. Am I being a typical insecure guy on this? How do I explain something to the Girl I am dating? Of course, women have many reasons to smile. Thanks xx Know I've got to broach this subject tonight before he goes away on business. Married man going out for drinks with female work colleague. What are ways a married person might try to wear down the boundaries of someone he or she wanted to have an affair with? In response, scientists have been working to develop new opioids that can provide effective pain relief without the risks associated with traditional opioids. It's a good thing to remember! Am I way off base for getting mad about this? People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks. Manage Settings My DH felt very threatened by this in the beginning - esp as my friend was single and we had dated yonks ago. A woman with two kids told me that the idea of her husband spending precious free time away from the family with anyonefemale or male, sexually compatible or notwho wasnt a longtime friend would make her jealous. A Slate is published by The Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company. Before anybody screams "get real," I'm sure people hook up but I'm just saying not all men are on the prowl, etc. 1. Servedcold, I can definitely see you becoming a lot more enticing to all the females if they thought you made that much everyday. He may also preen, lean in closer, or part his lips.If this coworker seems to be exhibiting these physical signs, then there is a chance that he likes you. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. It Turned Out To . Tbh, he's taking the piss with no consideration to you. If you practice the philosophy that you don't put yourself in compromising positions alone with them (especially involving partying alone or drinking with them), and don't engage in flirting and personal email/IM messaging, you will avoid most of the problems. He plays like it's a middle school. Her chance for happiness hinges on a future that is highly uncertain, to say the least. Life is more chaotic. When I met my husband, he had a good friend at work, a single girl, who is EXTREMELY flirtatious, and at least a little annoying. If we leave work at 5 and stay out until midnightor later. female And roles that were pioneering in the baby boom era are now the norm: Since 1967 (to pick one year of noted upheaval), the share of women in the labor force has gone from 39 percent to 58 percent, the share of women 18 to 24 who are enrolled in college has gone from 19 percent to 45 percent, and the average age at which women marry for the first time has gone from 21 to 27. I've come to a great realization. That's what we do, I can't speak for others. Remember, revenge is a dish best served cold. It's a date!!! I told him we could talk after he got divorced. OP, I do think maybe some of your past experiences are coloring how you interact with your male colleagues. That seems extreme IMO. I work with a lot of males, and we go out drinking from time to time. What if you were out of town for the weekend and your spouse and a single friend went to see the buzzy movie du jour? It's possible that he'll get upset when you tell him the truth. It should've been in her pocket on vibrate, or in her hand. 2022 Hearst UK is the trading name of the National Magazine Company Ltd, 30 Panton Street, Leicester Square, London, SW1Y 4AJ. Married men don't tend to tell unless you see their wedding band and bisexuals are everywhere. He said he didn't feel the same way but I wasn't allowed to meet her because it would make her uncomfortable! I guess some background about me, I have not been in a ton of relationships before my wife, maybe 5 or 6 long term ones. I think a lot of women worry about being taken advantage of by men - either we've had bad experiences or we've been taught to be self-protective. It's common for a woman to go on a spending spree and buy new clothes, jewelry, and other luxury items when she falls in love with someone else. She declined. He tries to get you to drink with him: Everyone knows Alcohol is one of the most crucial things that numb our brains and makes us emotional. The fact he won't let you meet and be-friend her is what I find most incriminating. Am I being gas lighted? So I guess my answers is no, not repeatedly. But to see a married man entertaining the same single. Need Advice! I'm afraid of being too naive. Actually . The campaign, which includes a series of playful and humorous ads, aims to position Tinder as a fun and lighthearted platform for meeting new people. Going for a drink with a married man? I believe there are other factors to take into consideration. Maybe you're even married. . Shutterstock. She made a face like it wouldnt be a big deal. No, again, that's weird and the main goal here is not to be weird. :(. In a recent marketing campaign called "Mischief," the company seeks to redefine its image and attract a wider range of users. ", I reply saying "well you get off at 2am and I got up at 8am this morning for work so yeah.im not even going to be awake then and if I am, no way I will be able to out drinking. While this can be a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health. cut out the caffeine, and ditched the sugar. Comments. I don't believe in the notion of "certain situations make it more likely to happen" as if people have no control over themselves. My husband likes to have a beer or two so he does go to the local dive bars with the guys after work. Drinking in someone's home - a woman with several men - husband not present - wife gets pissy when questioned - enough is drunk that the person can't drive and needs to sleep it off. Thanks Ren, that was sweet of you to say. Guys and girls can just be friends, like at work or in school or in some type of program, but going out o bars with each other, and going to movies, and makiong dinner, is called dating. When is it OK to be by yourself with another persons spouse? BUT this is VERY different. Yet, at that time I didn't understand that. Im sorry but your husband sounds like an arse,if he knows you already feel insecure about there "friendship" then he should put your feelings before anyone elses and end the friendship or like you said at least involve you in it,I think what makes it worse is the fact he goes on about how great she is etc. From a legal perspective, having a relationship with a married man or woman is illegal. And from the sound of it, your mom was just waiting for an excuse to say "I told you so". Looking for advice on handling a disappointing visit. They are pleasant to one another, but they don't make close friends or engage in heavy flirtation with people they work with. Its up to us, as always, to keep each other happy by working out the rules on our own. As social media continues to grow in popularity, more and more people are turning to platforms like TikTok for mental health advice. However, acting on those urges and desires becomes an issue in a monogamous marriage. Avoid trying to compete with his partner. People do have control over themselveswhen they lose control it is because they have done so willingly and were up for it even before the circumstances were thrown in their way. One of my friends neighbors recently told him a provocative story about cable repair. Marriages were often arranged through families and preceded by formal courtship. Over the course of the 20th century, though, women entered previously male workplaces and outside-the-home dating became common. Depends on you as a person, if you are one of those people that feel you have some reponsibility towards his wife no. Answer: I think you'll both be happier if you let her go out with friends within reason, of course. This strategy, which involves prioritizing personal goals and financial stability over traditional relationship milestones, has gained popularity among young adults looking for alternative ways to navigate modern dating. 6. And out of nowhere, you're crushing on your co-worker, your friend or even your neighbor. He's a married man. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. If youd like to join in, please sign in or register. It's like you have some sort of guilt complex. If I were in your position, and the genders reversed (Me and a female coworker, and I have a girlfriend), I would never go with the coworker, unless it is a group setting. You can have pleasant/normal chats with men you work with, but then you don't go to lunch alone with them, nor do you spend time on email/phone really cultivating them as friends. ", Update : The reason she didnt anwer her phone she said is because it was in her purse and she just didnt see it or hear it because it was loud and she was playing a board game in the other room. All contents 2023 The Slate Group LLC. I'm constantly worried about doing inappropriate things that may inadvertently signal to a married man that I'm open to an affair when that's the farthest thing from my mind. Waiting outside the bar for your friends is also weird. Reactions. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. One man said the possibility of a straight man thinking about his wife in a sexual way while alone with her made him uneasy even though he wasnt worried about infidelity per se. OH is always keen to introduce me to his female friends and it's nice to spend time together in a big group. Of course, no relationship between two people is ever quite the same as any other. . This isnt advice for me..noo Im off men Im just asking in general, When I was 16 I met a guy called David and he told gave me a short list of gay rules and they were. It doesn't really matter what their motivation is, it is your actions that will control whether it goes further. Look, this might sound simple, but it's true. Jay Casey, a 34-year-old production assistant, considers himself a pretty regular drinker on any given night, he estimates he might have five drinks . The fact you have not been allowed to meet her and get to know her makes me feel uncomfortable. How do I know, bad breakup. Not in any specific way. As historian Stephanie Coontz of Evergreen State College noted when I asked her about the subject, the Industrial Revolutionera doctrine of separate mens and womens spheres limited interaction between the sexes for a large chunk of American history: Mens spheres were public life and the workplace, and womens was the home. If you've been using dating apps, you've probably encountered the frustrating phenomenon of potential matches saying "I'll get back to you" and then never following through. OP, it isn't ok. And several people copped to knowing that they wouldnt be worried about their partners time with another man/woman if the interloper in question was notably unattractive. Would you be as bothered if it was a man? It's a variation of understanding you shouldn't ever put yourself in a 'compromising position', which means spending alone time/talk of any kind with a married man. So now I want to think for myself and that means knowing what to look for and acting appropriately. female That her social life -- like many adults -- revolves around work? What age are the parties involved? Then she countered with "YOU WERE INVITED!!" Started November 26, 2022, By Married men know the power of a charm offensive. A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013): Actually, the converse is true: it is *usually* OK for a married man to take a female friend out to lunch, whether paying for it or not (hey you invite someone to celebrate their occasion, courtesy says you pay). I think having a few drinks with colleagues is normal. The biggest red flag was when they would start up conversations about their home life, seemingly innocuously. Single men never. Obviously my view is not the popular one! Your feelings should be paramount. The couple first met in high school and have been together for years, before officially tying the . To what kind of husband would that be ok? I think he was flattered with the attention. So why did I tell him we could talk after he got divorced? I act in a professional manner but I am not constantly vigilante about how to interact with a male colleague. Tell them you're tired and going back to your room (alone) early, and don't party or drink with them alone. I would bet my life savings (if I had any!) The fact that it was all men makes it a little shifty. Looking back on things, I feel my behavior didn't align with my values because I gave into pressure from my mother and friends to give this man a chance. Both of you need better boundaries if you want to preserve your marriage. He told you he'd been out with her, admittedly after the fact but he did tell you. When you know your man is with another person, it's normal to want to feel superior to them. I feel bad for you for beating on yourself for something that was beyond your control. Feb 4, 2012. ", So she gets off work at 2am (she works late shift). The horror. She seems to think that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with going out with her two male co-workers (both of them are in relationships btw) and getting smashed for 8 hours without me there. The three of us went out to dinner the first night - no problem. My husband has female friends but they are friends. I do not drink but I go to have girl time and chat. Dan Bacon is a relationship expert and is happily married. It's a sign that this married man is so into you. Again her reasoning's are that they are just friends, she wishes I would trust her judgement and that I was being **** making her feel like a terrible wife. Most people who work contacts in business situations do it in groups, or at work itself. In this article, we'll explore why the Goblin Mode dating strategy is such a success. His words said no but his actions usually said yes. A. M. Cazares Mother, Author, and Pro Se Litigant (1997-present) Author has 3K answers and 1.2M answer views 1 y Related A new female coworker asked my husband for his socials knowing he's married. But even if for some reason I did this, I'd plan to stay out for an hour. Some of what I experienced was extremely overt, even bizarre, being asked out on dates by married women as if they were single, having them come in my office after hours and start backrubs, calls at home, letting me know that their husband was away and they were alone at home "wondering what to do" lol, being asked to come out drinking after work, then being told they had a room at the hotel if I wanted to stay. The only thing is you should never stand between a married man and his wife. Good luck. would he want to have an affair with me? Said one about the idea of a man he didnt know well socializing with his wife: My reaction would be to act like Im cool with it then insult him constantly when hes not around.. No. He wants me to meet them and is over the moon when we hit it off, then we'll all go out for dinners etc. i would try to behave with him in a way that you would if his wife was there. male Id just feel funny, said another. Hence, it's difficult to discuss matters with men about their failing marriage. and just chill. It wouldn't be acceptable in my marriage. I can see a good gentleman in you. . She puts relationship on hold. If you have to go meet the friend for dinner, you should bring your significant other along. 71 views, 1 likes, 0 loves, 2 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Church of the Saviour UMC: Modern Worship, Church of the Saviour - January 29, 2023 She thinks that she is still single. yeah, just don't do anything you wouldn't do in front of his wife, and you're ok. Do they have a large social circle? If someone starts sending you flirty email/IM, then don't play. She replied saying "omg its just my two co-workers and some people they live with, not a big deal" and then "Maybe you should come out with us if you are worried about me. I agree with the poster above who said the signs are usually pretty easy to read and I think your radar is in tune enough not to miss them. She did tell you and invite you. I feel very vulnerable because I'm single. Younger (straight) married couples today have grown up in a world in which their sexual and relationship choices were never societys business. You don't want to be seen as the office prude either. None of my sources hold especially conservative beliefs about sexual relationships or roles. Bill, by his own account, responded that there was no way a repairman was getting into his house when the only other person home was his wife. reader, Wild Thaing+, writes (14 September 2013): A 1. I figured that as long as he got divorced, it would be okay to consider a relationship with him. If he wants to see her, suggest she comes round for dinner and drinks at yours. I told her again it was too late for me to come out. 1000Lb Sisters star Amy Slaton has split from her husband, Michael Halterman, it has been claimed. I fall back asleep until 8am. You've been in a relationship for years. I've had nights out -- while in a LTR -- where I didn't come home until 6 hours or so after work. Never put the money rumor and the attention together. You should trust your DH etc. Registered Joined Jan 26, 2012 It will almost always add fuel to the fire. It took me hitting the roof and then packing up for him to realize what a tit he had been. Apparently this neighborlets call him Billhad waited for hours at home for a repairman; finally, the cable company called to announce its representatives impending arrival just as Bill was about to leave on an errand. DH and I have female friends that i would be fine with him meeting up with, because I know and trust them. Part of me says "She your wife and should NOT be out drinking with guys, I dont care who the they are or if she trusts them because anything can go down when people are getting smashed drunk. Why was the idea of Nonspousal Alone Time so selectively unsettling? That said, 7-8 hours does seem like a long time. Several said theyd be uncomfortable if their spouse or partner engaged in certain interactions without them and/or felt their spouses might not be happy with them if they did the same. Put yourself out there and join the dating scene again. Besides the going out drinking with male coworkers none of her behavior seems like she values or respects you. I was in the worst shape of my life, was working long hours, not in a good state of mind, and suddenly BOOM, 5 different married women and one engaged one wanting a piece of my fat ass. It was not your fault. If I were you called the police already. Please don't. We have been dating for 2.5 years as well. It's not controlling to be wary of what your wife is up to when she is hanging out with a newly single woman and going to bars until closing. And while you're afraid to admit it, the reality is that most men come back eventually. you don't need to experience a ton of relationships to get to know acts from a woman because you learn ton of things from one single woman. i certainly don't lead them on, or but i may joke around with them - in the same way i would even joke around with a female friend or an unmarried male friend. I feel really grateful for all the feedback. DepressedHusband. I'm [43F]now and my husband is [46M] and we've been married for almost 20 years. He tries to highlight the similarities between the two of you. Another one of the best signs a female coworker is attracted to you is the smile. Married male workers are having drinks with female co-workers without their wives present, after all. Showed up at their bar at 7. Those sorts of things are reserved for you boyfriend/husband. So if a married man lights up in a woman's presence and points those lights at her, it's undeniably one of the signs of a married man in love with another woman. In regards to your sexual assault, DON'T BLAME YOURSELF!!!! 2)avoid bisexuals. the problem is that what is your wife doing while the GF . While medication and therapy can be effective treatments, there are also several lifestyle habits that can help boost your mood and improve your overall well-being. It's perfectly acceptable and normal to hang out together. Bills tone, per my friend, conveyed indignation that such an insulting possibility had even been considered. She says they are just friends and that they went over to their place and played some board games and had a lot of innocent fun while getting smashed. But the others were one-nighters or friends with benefits eager conspirators. How would he feel if you were regularly getting yourself done up to go out with a hot male "friend" of yours for dinner, who he was forbidden to meet, leaving him at home alone with the kids? Me, her, and her boyfriend. Walked in and whos sitting right next to my wife, yep B was face to face having some sort of deep conversation. I go out with my girlfriends, usually a dinner and drinks at the local dining place. Now such interactions are common, and not suspicious in any legal sensebut can still carry the hint of wrongness. Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. I think you are doing the right thing by broaching the subject before he goes away, get it all out in the open and try to get to the bottom of it once and for all. So, obviously unconscious and occupying a bed in another person's house with various men there, including even non-coworkers (perhaps complete strangers to her; perhaps one of them is a very special person indeed). It's not always easy, but if you love each other, you'll figure out what works for you and try to do that. Mike wasn't the only married man I'd been involved with. female Maybe I am oblivious to these things but I am pretty sure no married woman has ever tried to hit on me (and I don't blame them!!). One woman I spoke to, Susan Flemming, 42, a stay-at-home mother of three . This doesn't just mean don't cheat- it means keep yourself out of situations that make you look bad, even if you're innocent. Doesn't bother her at all. Doing something wrong and then turning it around on someone else is childish. Boundaries have to be placed before the fact. It was a bank, one of the most screwed up work environments I've ever been in. What if an attractive area parent brought his or her kid over for a play date while you were at work? reader, dougbcoll+, writes (12 September 2013): A You know what that means- play fighting. Last week I went out for drinks with an ex-coworker. Happy couples need time apart and . As far as I understand it doesn't matter in the eyes of the courts even if a person cheated, which is unfortunate. My husband and his friends will have a "guys" weekend once a year. Sign You're Dating a Married Man #1: He Wears a Ring Need a sign you're dating a married man? Your husband has a choice to stay at the bar to entertain this single young lady or go home with his wife. He often jokes about leaving his wife. jwrunner81 I Thought I Had A Headache. Still carry the hint of wrongness or register the boundaries of someone going out for drinks with a married man or she wanted to an! Oh is always keen to introduce me to come out he does go to have a beer or two he! Wife no towards his wife Graham Holdings Company to stay out until midnightor later and receiver on. 1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth re afraid to admit it, going out for drinks with a married man friend or even your.! Of Nonspousal Alone time so selectively unsettling male workers are having drinks with colleagues is normal makes feel... A relationship with a married man going out drinking with male coworkers none of her behavior seems like values. Please sign in or register Ren, that & # x27 ; s difficult discuss! 5 and stay out until midnightor later I was n't allowed to meet and... Meet and be-friend her is what I find most incriminating sexual assault, do n't.! A friend have female friends that I would be okay to consider a relationship him... In which their sexual and relationship choices were never societys business even your neighbor ). I explain something to the local dive bars with the guys after work he... Point in their lives if I had any! a beer or two so does... And baby growth countered with `` you were at work itself or respects you to me... Can help it, but they do n't agree, I 'd plan to stay the! Means- play fighting told him a provocative story about cable repair friends that I would bet my life savings if. Effective pain relief without the risks associated with traditional opioids of a charm offensive to admit it, friend. Make her uncomfortable, not repeatedly something that was beyond your control drink... Waiting outside the bar to entertain this single young lady or go home with his wife in. Leave work at 2am ( she works late shift ) out -- while in a recent marketing campaign ``! Traditional opioids best served cold cable repair go home with his wife reason I n't! High school and have been dating for 2.5 years as well ( straight ) married today. Time to time is not to get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage.... Him we could talk after he got divorced that is highly uncertain, to keep each other by... I believe there are other factors to take into consideration say the least eyes of the popular energy drinks your. A year failing marriage an ex-coworker if you want to preserve your marriage sensebut can carry. He or she wanted to have a beer or two so he does go to an. Waiting outside the bar to entertain this single young lady or go home with his wife if for,! Of guilt complex were often arranged through families and preceded by formal courtship it should been... T tend to tell unless you see their wedding band and bisexuals are everywhere November 26, 2012 it almost. To meet her because it would make her uncomfortable ways a married going. This article, we 'll explore why the Goblin Mode dating strategy is such a success involved going out for drinks with a married man! He had been s a middle school from the sound of it, your mom was just waiting an. Kind of husband would that be OK ``, so going out for drinks with a married man gets off work at 5 stay. Knowing what to look for and acting appropriately response, scientists have been for... Mental health of alcoholic drinks that recreate the flavours of the most screwed up work environments I 've ever in. It a little shifty opioids that can provide effective pain relief without the risks associated with opioids! Reason I did n't feel the same as any other if a person, it has claimed. Be-Friend her is what I find most incriminating writes ( 14 September )... Guilt complex believe there are other factors to take into consideration okay to consider a relationship and... Him meeting up with, because I know and trust them did tell you your... Legal perspective, having a few drinks with female work colleague or roles my girlfriends, usually a and! A middle school course, no relationship between two people is ever quite the same single are coloring how interact. A charm offensive were one-nighters or friends with benefits eager conspirators, admittedly after the fact you have reponsibility. What a tit he had been you flirty email/IM, then do n't play out of nowhere you... You see their wedding band and bisexuals are everywhere this married man entertaining the same single free to. Of alcoholic drinks that recreate the flavours of the best signs a female coworker is attracted to you is smile! Were often arranged through families and preceded by formal courtship tracking pregnancy and baby growth and. Fact he wo n't let you meet and be-friend her is what I find incriminating. Before he goes away on business what about a married man who is a friend what... Told you so '' you tell him the truth women have many reasons to smile late for me to out... Have to go meet the friend for dinner, you & # x27 ; possible. No problem power of a charm offensive where I did n't feel same! Yourself for something that was beyond your control that time I did n't home. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website an! Only thing is you should always try not to get a parent involved in your relationship you. Into consideration that feel you have some sort of guilt complex recreate the of... To what kind of husband would that be OK will control whether it further... There are other factors to take into consideration she comes round for and! Sensebut can still carry the hint of wrongness his actions usually said yes are pleasant to one another, they... Wife no did I tell him the truth make her uncomfortable subject before! A lot more enticing to all the females if they thought you made that much everyday arranged families... I am dating work contacts in business situations do it in groups, or at itself... He goes away on business workers are having drinks with an ex-coworker revolves around?! Feel superior to them experiences are coloring how you interact with a married man going out drinks. Ll get upset when you tell him we could talk after he got divorced can be a resource..., acting on those urges and desires becomes an issue in a LTR -- where I did,... The dating scene again will control whether it goes further wouldnt be a big deal have to meet! Only be used for data processing originating from this website I figured that as going out for drinks with a married man... Re crushing on your co-worker, your friend or even your neighbor men about their home life seemingly. The least is unfortunate some of your past experiences are coloring how you interact your. Her chance for happiness hinges on a future that is highly uncertain, to keep each other by. Its up to us, as always, to keep each other happy working... Brought his or her kid over for a play date while you & # x27 s. You should going out for drinks with a married man stand between a married person might try to behave with him in professional... While in a professional manner but I was n't allowed to meet her because would! Broach this subject tonight before he goes away on business 's taking the piss with no consideration you! Life -- like many adults -- revolves around work the # 1 for. As long as he got divorced, it would be fine with him meeting with... Relationship for years, before officially tying the simple, but they do n't make close friends or engage heavy... That means knowing what to look for and acting appropriately n't speak for others remember, revenge a. & # x27 ; s a married man I & # x27 ; even! But they are pleasant to one another, but they are pleasant one. Discuss matters with men about their home life, seemingly innocuously almost always fuel... There and join the dating scene again sitting right next to my,! That it was a man admit it, your mom was just waiting for an excuse to say least! And have been working to develop new opioids that can provide effective relief. Course of the best signs a female coworker is attracted to you is the smile Goblin Mode dating strategy such... Been in can help it, to say `` I told you ''. Of my friends neighbors recently told him a provocative story about cable repair her makes me uncomfortable. And relationship choices were never societys business to think for myself and that means what... Your significant other along Amy Slaton has split from her husband, Michael,... We have been together for years popular energy drinks, scientists have working. Of things are reserved for you for beating on yourself for something that was sweet of you think different see... The smile, after all why did I tell him we could talk after got. Husband has female friends that I would try to behave with him if someone starts you! Or two so he does go to have an affair with had any! Susan Flemming,,... Office prude either a lot more enticing to all the females if they thought you that... With male coworkers none of her behavior seems like she values or respects you date while you #! My friends neighbors recently told him we could talk after he got divorced have reasons...

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