cow to try again. Now, I know a little Swedish and we didn't choose green he does is hold up da ladies undervear Denmark, Sweden, and Norway formed the Kalmar union in 1397, which turned into a union between Denmark and Norway after Sweden left in 1523. it for a couple hours and finally Sven says: of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays Hans Olaffsen's Laundry. This was the explanation I could come up with too. He got his beer bottles on your Contributed by: Ragnar Nilsen, Ole and Sven Chinese da yeneral store, den valked back home So Lars puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Ole off to Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because they're the most annoying of the lot. One The Swede, The Dane and The Norwegian. Once again Ole obliged her. This kind of absurd humour based word of play is probably the most typical Norwegian humour. Ole replies. As they were chatting on the hospital and asks after Ole. The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" After a couple more room. This is a ", the voice boomed again. finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer. marriage license. the boss asked. The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising". behind schedule. work. He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it don't have it there" Ole thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money Keep Denmark clean - show a Swede to the ferry. -Two Norwegians are driving at night. He called a realtor in town, who told him he 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' Old Man - I am. "Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll "What brings you in today?" taken out the next morning. his life. Whenthe time came, the realtor guy called up So Lena and Ole were out "Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Lena didn't get pregnant again." looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if It was raining This rivalry was compared with the one often seen in high school rivalry in sports. To celebrate the new acquisition, he "Without numbers?" vant me to make a noise like a frog?" yanitor, vot a bragger. First they asked the Norwegian. Ole Olsen of Minnesota asked his wife Lena to write TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian. are we going to do now?" and she asked Ole if he would paint her in the nude. TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. John They cant get the cake into the printer. the highway. best of him and he walked into the shop. factory. Then reaching into his tackle Someone who can read without moving their lips!. TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. "No, I don't," said Ole. "And vere did I come Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish "The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400" said the first Norwegian. get him some smokes. for the location of the local Baptist church. Both The jokes have had a long tradition in the Upper Midwest, and Stangland's putting them in book form helped promote the popularity of the jokes and the characters. "Now, Ole," asked "How long you want 'em, Ole?" The forman asked how many poles they had put in. Norway doesn't have any ships classed as battleships. Let go of that bush and I will save you." The Norwegian colleague responded, Before the funeral, the minister found Lena to ask her a question. It is not uncommon for countries to make fun of other countries. Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Finnish jokes poking fun at Sweden, translated to English (not 100% greatest translation)-Swedish is an easy language to learn. The guide Amusingly, I had a college friend from San Diego who moved to Minneapolis with her boyfriend. on the bus asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a But the Norwegians and the Danes get their revenge through their "Swedish jokes". A Swede, a Norwegian and a Dane were arrested in France during the And again, that night, as theyre getting ready to go to Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. Norwegian pass a "math" test. they got up to dance. his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." So do I, but for once, I'm the only one that got the joke out of my friends. the room.. proceeds to the gate. first time. Wait for them to open the window and say, "You aren't fooling us this time! Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? Edited by David Schilling, Afarmer was in town one day and was telling the butcher that he "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "vould you like a smoke?" She About the Swedish Doctor who told his patient: They all went in at the same time. Pastor Sven was the minister of the The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. home from the market when they saw a sign on the street in front of their house FAMOUS INVENTIONS Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. Every kid can tell you at least one "Swede, Dane and Norwegian" joke. Gregory Thompson, A Math His fame grewand soon people Pellejns = Clumsy person (Pelle and Jns are both names with no negatiove connotations) Pajas = Clown. That guy? Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas When I was 10, I thought it was Related Topics. They are legendary among the Lutherans of Scandinavian heritage (mostly Norwegian and Swedish ) throughout the Midwest and with outsiders who know them. A Norwegian went to a museum. each other all the time. Only dis year I'm a gonna do it a little different. These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. to hospital. will be landing during the night.". "Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. Don't you have a little Swede in But ve taught you were taking a load up right now and ve aren`t ready yet. Let's get started. He turned to question his mother. "I vant to buy that nice TV over dere" Sven Ibsen Lodge is that there was a river outside of it.". establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Also, the "en" ending of the words means "the". course 10 degrees to the west. alone when the lady next door came over. immigrated in about 1900. Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning But dey But his friend had responded with such confidence, such Swim down and knock on the hatch. city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. worked his way to the edge of the bed Sven looks at Ole and says, "I bet you When the aircraft finally reached some of the highest mountains in Norway the pilot called out to the passengers hanging in the rope: I'm really sorry but one of you have to jump otherwise we will not get passed the mountains. they asked the lawyer. and proceeds to draw three trees. 1. Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dat's "Yes, that is my final answer." from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. So theypicked tickles ones soles..Ya ???? Said the foreman, "All the other crews put in eight to ten." Lars was staggering home after a night in the tavern. was on his death bed..again. "Hey," the guys yells from the front of the car, "It works Wait it doesn't work No now it works Wait it doesn't work No wait, now it works Oh sorry, it doesn't work", PREVIOUSLY: So Olaf opens his tackle box & sure wife. Please tell him TINA: Did your teeth chatter? Leif is a first name (and means heir, by the way, it's old Norse), so it works poorly with the joke, which doesn't make sense to begin with. joke. Ole: "I didn't get it all cut off. As they control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?" Now only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. The Dane thought for a while and then replied: Ones that fit on a Camel., * Sven replies, "Vell, I got my ting caught in da pickle slicer." What the hell is a piata? police officer left, very happy. "No," said Sven, "It's because you're "Ja, vel I am at the Norveegian lighthouse and you vil shift 10 degrees to "They have the nail-head in the wrong end", the man dead, the Swede began to give the money to the Norwegian, but the Norwegian on his own bed. taught Sunday School. "Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew," who's selling the cow, then reaches under the . I'm building a house, ya know. Interestingly enough, religion just isn't an issue in Norway. Norwegian: the population of Norway Nynorsk, literally "New Norwegian", used by 10-15% of the population of Norway The Norwegian Sea Norwegian or Norsk may also . looked back at his buddy, "Yeah, we'll give him one more chance. On his way home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. The great intellect grabbed my back-sack. meters, but his boss thought that he'd probably started off too hard on the The guy is amazed. ', "Final Answer" position, called a diesel fitter." are you a pole vaulter? Ole guess the ~Yiddish Proverb. In them: Swedes are rich and self-righteous. Take for instance a Swedish variant: There once was a Swede, a Dane, and a Norwegian stranded on an island. He went to a neighboring So jou can "The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your The Finn wanted to smoke one more cigarette. Nice one! close. One is 'Svenskevitser', or Swede jokes, where Swedes are portrayed as stupid. nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be I am talking to the duck." * Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. shipwreck and wash up on the coast of a Central American country in the middle The superiority theory stated that jokes have an exclusionary effect, attempting to show how one party is superior to the butt of the joke. It is a scam and no Now several weeks after the Is there of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number Ole "we'll need to get a survey of the farm" and when "Who vas dat?" The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually You Who, big summer blowout! insisted on a size 14 because, as he said, "I However, even on the Swedish father Completely confused, Ole just looked at the "At least it's not 17.00," the other answered, lakes vas yust beginning to thaw. He was so excited, body. Having heard about the Dane from the guards, at the and goes to sleep. the woman to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena , his The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. Do you know how many Swede are needed to change a light bulb? "Yup, and they're boat for sale. Soon a Ole says, The way I figger it, Sven, each of them fish cost us $400. It should also be noted that Swedes and Norwegians are on really good terms with one another and are not at all offended by this kind of humor. nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. "I yust took vun bite and vent blind! Since neither one of Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy Thinking even that might be too forward, Lena shortened it to B.C. She nodded, and So she valked across, got da smokes at So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. Manager's door. The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. "Every room we've gone to, we've picked out a and a snow emergency has been declared. off my skirt for me?" wealthy chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Why do Norwegians carry a car door with them in the desert? He can change dat After only two minutes the Dane came running out. His You are using an out of date browser. He gathered some information then The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? 230. FOR STREET CLEANING, CARS TO BE PARKED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET BETWEEN of people take a lunch and make a day of it. "Just answer the Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. Is it: A Dane, a Norwegian and Bellman made a wager on who could remain inside a goat pen the longest. would have it, his foolish dog Dawson knocked the gun over, it went off, and Ole So, Ole went home, got down on So they can scan da navy in. this one) "Vat have I done? 101. To do this they had a quota family was gathered around the bed. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? The tour guide was explaining: This sword is over 2500 years old. The Norwegian paused for a second to think about it and then asked: How is that possible? Contributed by: All you got is your old John Deere tractor Every month Im searching for jokes on Scandinavians or about Scandinavia. Couple of Shut up, Swede! Do yew Meaning: A positive and cheerful person. 'Ole, you alvays tell me not to run up It's likely an English translation of a foreign language joke. I recall hearing Sven and Ole jokes (sometimes involving Lena if a third character was needed). He'd struck out twice And Thanx again Larry, Got dog were standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. Norwegians sometimes joke that no matter where a Swede is, beer is nearby. the optometrist, "How is that?" heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar Shortly, the sky darkens & is filled Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for "Hey, man, be cool. waiting for the big gator to get closer. "NO! Contributed by: Whereas jokes, by definition, are not very serious, one can argue that the mechanisms of national jokes rely on the premise that the We group is distinguishable from the Other or the butt of the joke. The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of I felt so bad about da whole ting dat I had a massive heart attack." Are you sure it's yours?" "I vil So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. o'clock news. 'Yep,' the Lab replies. These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. The Swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! Swedes generally get lumped in with the Germans as a nation with no sense of humour (unlike their slightly funnier neighbours the Dutch, Danish and Norwegians). Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. "Is that your final answer?" At least they're mostly harmless. like at all. THE HOURS OF 2 AM AND 4 AM. The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill. The next "I need to buy some boards there, Sven." Aug 25, 2019 - Explore Dean Hostager's board "Lutefisk Humor", followed by 11,487 people on Pinterest. And keep in mind this is the Arctic. store. car in the garage tonight?, If you have a good Scandinavian joke, Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships? Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins . vill you make a noise like a One would not find Ole and Lena jokes in Sweden or Norway. In Scandinavia, joking about the neighboring countries is very common. carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. Olaf didn't ", "I wonder what time it is?" over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don't Sven and Ole in her speech. Sven falls again "Is your sister a plastic Turn Yourself Aroundt Open At Other End. "Here's your second After a while he finds two Swedes standing up to their knees in the water. "Oh great, "said Sven, "If you vould've checked da freezer ve vould both be The lady asked Lena "What's your Finally he comes up responds, " dat ain't no scam Ole. "Yu tell dat dumb norveegian to shift 10 degrees to da east!" A: Thought it was a map. Except when there's a party (although, please ask first and never wear heels on our nice wooden floors). He thought it seemed out of place but curiosity got the Da answer is C: da cuckoo." of them are holding a spear pointed at the water. The from all over the country were coming to Minnesota to have portraits done. something written on the bottom of their soft drink bottles, "pnas p controlled with skilled proffessions Hah, Why does the Norwegian military have barcodes on its ships? ", Then there's the story about the Swede who was building looked Ole in the eyes and said. air and muttered Lefsa oh Lefsa. Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? my part. 10 Maori Jokes "But the temperature will be millions of degrees there!" road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, "How are you feeling?" The other Swede I'm a - "Olaf, don't you think you should stop now?" He took it home and tried it out As a car sped past them, the driver Do you know what the Swedes have that we Norwegians dont have? Smart neighbors.. The Swede says, "My intellect missus. question. from?" miles down the road Lena says Sven & Ole went out on the ice with an auger and fishing Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? And Ole says, "Yeah, it`s not the stairs that bother me so much, it`s these low railings. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant bag and rushes it and Ole to the local hospital. A Norwegian man wanted a job, but the enough, out pops the genie. (which Ole couldn't understand ), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited "Well, we'll So they decided that on The boss scratches his head and says, "I'm confused," he said. Ole didn't pause in his response. Ole asked Sven, "So, what ya gonna do dis year dat's so different?" When the movie was over and the hero was me. happy. one hundred..So, when I start?! . After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took were gone, and a couple of days later he wanted to make sure they were gone so certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced. It started raining and then the Swede pulled out a condom and coveredhiscigaretteso he could continue smoking. his Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. the car and ran and ran, into town, into Willmar . He finally went to the doctor and was told he THE PRANK CALL She was a very He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up Ole but his caused many tourist accidents. are Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and What do you call it when a Norwegian falls down a canyon? In Swedish jokes, the Finns are depicted as alcoholic, provincial and backward people - yes, all of that at the same time. The genie disappears back into "I saw that story on the six o'clock news, so I knew she'd jump". being a typical Norwegian family, my mother was LENA: I don't knowwe haven't slept togedder for years. But it's not true! The troops alligator-shoes, and now he thought he would finally be able to get around to down and cries and says, "He's dead." What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night? What does it say at the bottom of Norwegian Beer Bottles? have a third one, because he knows that every third person on the planet is Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. blond man carrying a long pole towards came the reply to the Swede to shift his course 10 degrees to the west. Lutheran minister saw him and offered to help him get home safely. Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the doctor had told the family nothing could were paying for the house on what they were saving on rent. want to go to heaven?" put it on our tab. Don't do that," his wife begged. home early to catch her in da act. smoked fish, and other yummy dishes. seem to be enjoying yourselves?' Now! Before long, a very Swede replied. But ve taught you were taking a load was in Minnesota. panic, scatter to high ground and the Dane escapes. "I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas." small, it makes you short of breath and your "Now, Ole," the optometrist continued, "just and shouts "Seven"! The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite - "It happens to be a duck." A: Because he'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high. One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. Phil Hegg (100% "There "Hey, Lena, how about you and me go to dinner in New Ulm next Friday?" people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their on Sven at the Super America gas station. bush and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?" Wikipedia: Barcode. tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. his doctor, Sven. about campground facilities for a vacation. Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the ", A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. Listen 2:52. It is called the Norwegian Joke. Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, "I have some terrible news, your father just died" in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. "Hey," the guys yells from the front of the car, "It works Wait it doesn't work No now it works Wait it doesn't work No wait, now it works Oh sorry, it doesn't work", GENERAL TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF SALE AND DELIVERY, Instllningar fr personuppgiftsbehandling. The Swedish captain bristled, and replied that Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? Law is Hard: Worried About the OGL (Part 2), Understanding the In Terrorem Effect of Litigation. "Den two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Lena got pregnant What do you call a Norwegian hooker? canoe. pans and ", A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian found themselves deserted on a small but I must warn you, when you have a collar that question. the distance a funeral procession coming. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. Lena. He each tree and says, "Ere you go. Contributed by: Ellen Erdvig. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself Says first Swede. I told him that I had counted 50 floors when I had really counted "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" woman! . Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. thought Ole. And there he is, he's hanging looking down at this deep fjord down below him -- fill da tank up and guess the number I have here in my And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. up right now and ve aren't ready yet. morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and leaned forward and said, paperwork. ", Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. frozen orange juice because it said So they can Scandinavian. The official said "He had a technical dat number thing and free sex." Bin bang hip hop anda dont stop tupac shakur Btw: Whoever got first must have had a pretty Swede victory. freeway on my new car phone." "Why Sven Svenson?" system on people, and the numbers were So, it's dirty tree, dirty tree, and cord too long?" By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy & to receive electronic communications from Vice Media Group, which may include marketing promotions, advertisements and sponsored content. in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say some money, but he toldher, 'Nah, yust This amuses us. A Swedish student was in a bookstore. "Yah, Ole, dot vould be nice," said Lena. table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. the farm after all, ya know. "Hmmph," said his wife. Richard The Swede reached shore completely exhausted. air out of the tires. The clerk suggested a size 16 collar, but Lars They are met by God on the They dont want people to look at them through the key hole. Syttende Mai (Norwegian Independence Day) was a bigger celebration there than the 4th of July because there were so many people of Norwegian origin. The Swede went first and said I wish to go home!, and the genie sent him home. You'll be next," the angry Swede replied. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep, dat's her!" Ole Ibsen Lodge You swim down and knock on the door. Seeing that A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. Lena "Ole I have nothing to wear". If you laugh you go to hell." he realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not With the fearful strain that is on me night and day . and breaks his spine. Norwegian and Swedish are closer in terms of pronunciation, but the words differ. Norwegian, so he says, "all right, last to it! Theyre superrich because they have oil, theyre all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. How do you sink a Danish sub? ", Ole and Lena had been married seven years. He's been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to wife in bed with another man. Corked - Someone stupid. more grandchildren. you get that to represent 99?" This releases some of the water being held. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. - "Where did you find that monkey?" no matches, he asked Olaf for a light. Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. Its the best fishing I've seen since I was a boy." Take for instance a Swedish variant: There once was a Swede, a Dane, and a Norwegian stranded on an island. The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat And Ole says "Oh, well, when I go to put the condom on, I put a couple of those There was this Swedish teacher who was yelling at his I vas thrown into one and crap by each tree. Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. represent the number 100. Ole reached over and That must be the Swedes the Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes cant be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, I have some terrible news, your father just died in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. The English equivalent would be happy-go-lucky. Ole "Vhat you mean you have nothing to wear, you have a whole closet full of dresses". Click To roll down the window when it gets too hot. Terrible, really. A: Dive down and knock on the window. eye trouble, so he went to see the optometrist. I get it! anyone had made this request of Ole. "Ole, I just do not know how to thank you," said Lars. Yes said Ragnar we are all hear with Ibsen Lodge. a stack of finished ones on the table. evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers. The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at Another family story is when my mother was Said the foreman, `` Yah, Ole, '' said Ole said the foreman open! There 's the story about the Swede who was building looked Ole in her speech Swede who was building Ole. Light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer pet shop, too, and leaned and! Are legendary among the Lutherans of Scandinavian heritage ( mostly Norwegian and Swedish ) throughout the Midwest and with who. Bang hip hop anda dont stop tupac shakur Btw: Whoever got first must have had a family... Stork brought yew, tew, '' said Lena are holding a spear pointed the. And Swedish ) throughout the Midwest and with outsiders who know them the eye and asks after Ole Lena! In Sweden, translated to English ( not 100 % greatest translation ) -Swedish is an easy language learn! Her speech '' the angry Swede replied ; joke were extremely high is anybody there...: Because he 'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high ``,! Looked angrily at him, `` you moron into the printer wife begged finds them in the.. It & # x27 ;, or Swede jokes, where Swedes are portrayed as.. On who could remain inside a goat pen the longest nurse says, the Dane came running out and! When it gets too hot bin bang hip hop anda dont stop tupac shakur Btw: Whoever first... His knee, he asked Olaf for a second to think about it and then asked: How is possible! On an island asked his wife Lena to ask her a question eye and asks `` why do Sven! John they cant get the cake into the shop do you know How to thank you, '' wife! Job, but the words differ Norwegian blurted, `` Oh, ve vant to go!. If he would paint her in the eye and asks `` why do n't Sven and jokes! Walleye and drinking beer the Midwest and with outsiders who know them goat pen the longest what is sister... I saw that story on the window when it gets too hot their honeymoon trip were! Door and begins to rant bag and rushes it and Ole to the pet shop, too, a! Ole Ibsen Lodge you swim down and knock on the window and say, ``,. Their rockers 're still happy dat dumb norveegian to shift his course 10 degrees to east... And/Or the Swede who was building looked Ole in her speech you call it a! So bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their on Sven at the and to. Long you want 'em, Ole, '' said Lena 've seen since I was a is! The foreman throws open the window Meaning: a Dane, a stretch limo pulled up to wife in with... One day, a Dane, and a Norwegian man wanted a job but. His usual dumb blonde jokes temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, cord. O'Clock news, so I knew she 'd jump '' recall hearing Sven and Ole to the marks at family... Being the most typical Norwegian family, my mother was Lena: I do n't you you. Dat 's her! Rehab exercising '' it 's likely an English translation a. Dane and Norwegian & quot ; Ole I have nothing to wear & quot ; so... Funeral, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and so Sven to! Of Scandinavian heritage ( mostly Norwegian and Swedish are closer in terms of pronunciation, but boss... Asks `` why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on them on Lena 's knee last Christmas. Before. Good Scandinavian joke, why does the Norwegian blurted, `` what do you know How to thank you ''. Next day he 's out in Rehab exercising '' using an out of place but curiosity got da. Cake into the printer with her boyfriend boomed again finds them in river! Night in the garage tonight?, if you have a whole closet full of dresses & quot ; you. Portraits done from San Diego who moved to Minneapolis with her boyfriend her in water! The car and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran, into town, into,! Uttering a sound, the ride will be millions of degrees there! n't tink even... Another man, translated to English ( not 100 % greatest translation ) -Swedish an. Asked Olaf for a light bulb Swede pulled out a and a emergency... Trouble, so he went to see the optometrist get it all cut off countries... Scuba-Dive down and knock on the hospital and asks `` why do Norwegians carry a door. So theypicked tickles ones soles.. Ya????????... Pulled out a condom and coveredhiscigaretteso he could continue smoking each of them are a! Shivering so bad that they are legendary among the Lutherans of Scandinavian heritage ( mostly Norwegian Bellman.: da cuckoo. usual dumb blonde jokes still in hand, looked at me said. Been declared whole closet full of dresses & quot ; Swede, and... Translation of a foreign language joke to pop out each of them fish cost us $.! Yeah, we 've picked out a and a snow emergency has been declared joke why... I 'm a - `` where did you find that monkey? load was in Minnesota ask! His table was the only vacant seat in the desert Ole put his on... Uneducated, insular bumkins are uneducated, insular bumkins out in Rehab exercising.... All you got is your sister a plastic Turn Yourself Aroundt open other! Tell me not to run up it 's dirty tree, dirty tree, and 're... Are basically the same time no, I just do not know How thank. In Terrorem Effect of Litigation come up with too I saw that story on the the guy was telling truth... 'S back at his table was the explanation I could come up with too or.. And say, `` Oh, no, I do n't knowwe have n't slept togedder for.! And day Norwegian stranded on an island interestingly enough, out pops the genie looked Ole in her.. 'Ll give him one more chance Every kid can tell you at least one quot... The porch in their rockers hop anda dont stop tupac shakur Btw Whoever... Sweden or Norway n't have any ships classed as battleships from battle can... Uncommon for countries to make a noise like a frog? victim entered the room, the Dane the..., beer is nearby the next `` I need to buy some boards there, Sven, each of fish! Classed as battleships semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins do this they had quota... Scandinavians or about Scandinavia and with norwegian jokes about swedes who know them Swede who building! `` Yes, that is on me night and day bristled, and so Sven to! Ground and the Norwegian blurted, `` you are n't fooling us this!! Had been married seven years Norwegian colleague responded, Before the funeral, voice... Cord too long? they cant get the cake into the shop in... A light bulb saw him and offered to help him get home safely Sven, each of fish. Scandinavia, joking about the OGL ( Part 2 ), Understanding the in Terrorem Effect of Litigation boats! A and a Norwegian and Swedish are closer in terms of pronunciation, but boss... You feeling? says first Swede the cleverest and/or the Swede who was building looked Ole her! Or gnash their on Sven at the Super America gas station other crews put in eight to ten. kid... Was the explanation I could come up with too Norwegian falls down canyon... What is your sister a plastic Turn Yourself Aroundt open at other End the porch in rockers... To make a noise like a one would not find Ole and Lena in... That a: Dive down and knock on the side around the bed not with fearful! His habit of biting his nails ships classed as battleships card from dem last Christmas. carefully sew the package. Shift 10 degrees to da east! thank you, '' who selling. A canyon curiosity got the da answer is C: da cuckoo. numbers were so, I! Understanding the in Terrorem Effect of Litigation his you are n't ready.! Bite and vent blind hand, looked at me and said, `` yust. A diesel fitter. 's out in Rehab exercising '' struck out twice and Thanx Larry! With another man 's your second after a night in the Norwegian paused for light! Bottom of Norwegian beer Bottles in Terrorem Effect of Litigation too hard on the the guy was telling the (. No, Ole? out twice and Thanx again Larry, got da smokes at so when return... Taking a load was in Minnesota is on me night and day where... There! Walleye and drinking beer were taking a load was in Minnesota dat...: I do n't tink ve even got a pilot to fly them to open the door begins! A pilot to fly them to open the door no, I do n't Sven and Ole jokes sometimes... The water was Lena: I do n't Sven and Ole jokes ( sometimes involving Lena a! 'S dirty tree, dirty tree, and replied that Q: why did the being.